Smoking, the joys of…

marlene_1I recall an episode of Frasier when they had Harriet Sansom Harris as a guest star. Frasier was helping her to quit smoking, without any success. She gave an amazing delivery, talking about the pleasures of smoking. It goes like this:

Niles: There’s no need to be insulting just because you’re wrestling with an unhealthy and disgusting habit.

Bebe: It isn’t disgusting, it’s wonderful!

Frasier: Oh now, Bebe, tell me. What is so wonderful about smoking?

Bebe: Everything. [with actions:] I like the way a fresh firm pack feels in my hand. I like peeling away that little piece of cellophane and seeing it twinkle in the light. I like coaxing that first sweet cylinder out of its hiding place and bringing it slowly up to my lips. [Daphne comes back with a bowl; getting more erotic:] Striking a match, watching it burst into a perfect little flame and knowing that soon that flame will be inside me. [laughs gidily] I love the first puff, pulling it into my lungs. Little fingers of smoking filling me, caressing me, feeling that warmth penetrate deeper and deeper, until I think I’m going to burst! Then – whoosh! – watching it flow out of me in a lovely, sinuous cloud, no two ever quite the same.

She’s cast her spell. Everyone now has a hungry, longing look in their eyes.

Daphne: More potatoes, anyone?